“Can you see it? It’s just over the horizon. It looks like liquid sunshine about to spill over the cusp of the hill.” he said. I didn’t have the heart to tell him. We had been traveling together for so long and there’s one character trait I see in him that confounds me every time I see it. It’s like a glint in his eyes, as if he’s looking at something that I simply can’t see. Apparently it’s bright because it reflects off his eye’s like fresh marbles rolling across the black top as sunlight dances on its surface; his face lights up like a Christmas tree and I swear you can see all 32 of his teeth as he begins to smile. I wish I could spend one day in his world… but that’s impossible. If I allowed myself to indulge in such a rich imagination we wouldn’t get anything done, we’d never get anywhere safe.
Take the last tunnel we just past through for instance; it was a dark, murky cavern filled with gloom and despair. As we walked together I pressed my chest against his back so he could feel my heart beat. As the darkness covered our bodies in shadow, I whispered in his ear where the small stumbling stones were on the ground so we wouldn’t trip. That’s what I’m good at, finding the small things that keep us from stumbling. If it wasn’t for me we may not have made it two steps without falling, although it was him who led the way. He leads the way because no matter how dark it is there is a light that shines on him, guiding him, directing him and as he moves he takes my hand and I follow.
I guess that’s why I don’t have the heart to tell him what he’s looking at doesn’t exist, because I don’t want to believe it doesn’t exist. “Yes husband, I can’t quite make it out, but I’m sure it’s there” I say. “Here, let me show you” he says as he lifts his hand into the sky and forms his fingers around a light just over the horizon. A gust of wind hits my face and I clutch his back to feel his heart beat. He turns around with a ball of light between his fingertips. As he expands his fingers so does the light until it is the size of a softball. As he moves his hands closer to my chest I can feel the heat from the light warm my cheeks. “Don’t be afraid, embrace it” he says as he looks in my eyes with a childlike smile and places the light against my chest. First there’s fear, then trust, then acceptance… and sure enough I had embraced it… hope. – One Flesh
Dedicated to
Eli and Veronica
May God anoint your marriage and new blessing on the way…
